Lighter side of sports: Hot wives, girlfriends
Canwest News Services, Windsor StarPublished: Friday, February 08, 2008
The 10 hottest hockey wives and girlfriends, past and present, according to wickedwrister.com: 10. Candace Cameron-Bure (Valeri Bure); 9. Carol Alt (Ron Greschner, Alexei Yashin); 8. Anna Kournikova (Sergei Fedorov, Pavel Bure); 7. Rachel Hunter (Sean Avery, Jarret Stoll); 6. Hilary Duff (Mike Comrie); 5. Willa Ford (Mike Modano); 4. Elisha Cuthbert (Sean Avery); 3. Gena Lee Nolin (Cale Hulse); 2. Angelica Bridges (Sheldon Souray); 1. Veronika Varekova (Petr Nedved). Note: Out of respect to the hard-working contributors to this column, we ask you to please not start your Googles until you have finished reading the compilation.
. Among those missing from the wickedwrister list: 3. Stacia Robitaille (Luc Robitaille); 2. Janet Jones (Vitas Gerulaitis, Wayne Gretzky); 3. Judge Judy (Rick Tocchet).
. Jeff Funnekotter, on Rexall drug store magnate Daryl Katz finalizing his purchase of the Edmonton Oilers: "His first order of business is to come up with a drug that makes players' wives think they're in Anaheim.''
. Derek Wilken, on the rash of injuries to some of the Oilers' top players: "On the bright side, Katz can always get a discount on painkillers.''
. Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen, on the torch run for the 2010 Winter Olympics being the longest ever: "That's because of budget overruns they can't afford to get anyone a motel for the night.''
. Crosby or Ovechkin?
. With a contract that will pay him a total of $150 million over seven years, I'm guessing New York Mets pitcher Johan Santana will be the highest paid person with the surname Santana since Carlos cut his Supernatural album.
. A question from a reader to syndicated columnist Norman Chad: "Punter Jeff Feagles used to play for Philadelphia. Now that he's won a Super Bowl with New York, wouldn't it be appropriate for him to change his name to Jeff Fgiants?''
. Rolfsen, on the New England Patriots applying for trademarks on '19-0' and '19-0 The Perfect Season': "Not to be outdone, the 1972 Miami Dolphins are trademarking 'Cranky Old Men'.''
. The NFL will donate to overseas charities the hats and T-shirts that had New England Patriots as the Super Bowl champions printed on them. "So,'' says Wilken, "somewhere in Africa the perfect season lives on.''
. More Wilken: "I had a perfect day picking winners on Sunday with my prediction the Giants would win by three, the Rangers would beat Montreal, and House would cure the sick person.''
. Correction: Gisele Bundchen did not promise to run naked through midtown Manhattan if the New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl to the New York Giants. That promise was made by Al Bundy.
. Bill Littlejohn, describing Latrell Sprewell's reaction after prosecutors dropped assault charges against him: "He was all choked up.''¶
. Brian McNamee is starting to play dirty, isn't he, Roger?
. Remember the famous Johnnie Cochran "if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit'' comment during the O.J. Simpson trial? How about this one? If Clemens's DNA is found amid items in McNamee's box of junk, will Roger soon be picking either the top or bottom bunk?
. Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune, on McNamee's box of syringes and vials he allegedly used to inject Clemens: "Remember when people just collected autographs and pictures?''
. Three of the biggest upsets in sports history: 1. The U.S. Olympic men's hockey team winning the gold medal in 1980; 2. Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson in 1990; 1. John Daly killing a bottle of Jack Daniels while eating burritos and refried beans in 2000.
. From Wilken: "Volatile college basketball coach Bobby Knight has retired, saying he wanted to spend more time berating the family.''
. Friday marked the 10th anniversary of Canadian Ross Rebagliati winning a gold medal in snowboarding at the Nagano Olympics. Ross planned to have a quiet day, celebrating at home with his wife, his pets, and a tray of his favourite brownies.
. Rebagliati has abandoned his goal of competing at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. At 37, Ross is starting to have joint problems.
. From Toronto comedian Frenchie McFarlane: "Michael Strahan of the Giants has two My Space sites; one for his football career, and one for his teeth.''
. Clint Wong, after Maple Leaf forward Nik Antropov was suspended for three games for abusing two NHL officials: "They should have suspended the whole team for abusing the game of hockey.''
. Janice Hough, on Toronto hosting eight NFL games over the next five years: "Maybe fair compensation would be sending the Leafs to play some games in Buffalo.''
. Saskatoon StarPhoenix news editor John Grainger, on Marv Albert signing a multiyear extension to be Turner's NBA announcer: "No word on whether the deal included a clothing allowance.''
. Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, on a blood drive being hosted by the Washington Capitals: "Big deal, say the Philadelphia Flyers. Our opponents give blood 82 times a year.''
. Former WWE star Brock Lesnar tapped out at 1:30 of the first round last weekend in his UFC debut against Frank Mir. Afterward, an angry Lesnar said he thought the match was two falls out of three.
. Another from Wilken: The trade between the Phoenix Suns and Miami Heat for Shaquille O'Neal was finalized after Phoenix agreed to pay the balance of O'Neal's salary and Miami said it would pick up his cable bill.''
. I am not sure which Rogers bundle I would purchase; the one with the phone, cable and internet for $199 or the one with the phone, cable, internet and a ticket to watch the Buffalo Bills play in Toronto for $2,199.
. Survivor without Jonny Fairplay is like a PGA tournament with Tiger Woods; it isn't much fun to watch.
. Jose Canseco, after being told that this is The Year of the Rat on the Chinese calendar: "They named a whole year after me?''
. Littlejohn, on Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal being seen at a cockfight in the Dominican Republic: "Marichal's rooster won after using a baseball bat against its opponent.''
. Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers, to the Associated Press, when asked how long a strained abdominal muscle would keep Kevin Garnett out of the lineup: "You know Doc's a nickname, correct?''